Springtime

It's finally spring in Ohio... we have some lovely yellow tulips in the yard, and a brand-spanking new garden plot all tilled and tucked away under a tarp until May, when it will finally be safe to put the tomatoes outside.

I am beginning to suspect that I was a little too ambitious with the tomato plants - we have about 30 started inside. I forgot that tomatoes produce all summer long, and more than one tomato at a time. Ahem. Then we went to Lowe's, which sells six foot long tomato stakes. Oh, my goodness.

So.. if we have a boatload of tomatoes this summer, I may learn how to can homemade pasta sauce.

We've been getting to know our neighbors - Phil is a middle-aged man whose partner passed away several years ago; my mother in law calls him "the pirate" because when she met him he was wearing an earring and a bandanna on his head. He's really nice, and always willing to keep an eye on the house if we're going to be gone for a weekend. He rents a room to a guy about our age, Andrew, who is also nice, though we rarely see him.

Across the street is Birgit, a middle-aged woman whose husband passed away this past year - she and Phil have gotten to be pretty good friends (she says it's nice to talk to someone who understands what it's like to lose a partner). She's really funny, and the kind of neighbor you can borrow a ladder from in exchange for a plate of cookies, if you know what I mean.

It's nice to have neighbors - I never really have before, and it's kind of neat. When the power goes out, everyone goes out to their yards and visits; people chat over yard work on the weekends; people offer to help you with big projects if they see you need it. Kind of a novelty for someone raised out of sight or sound of neighbors - but I like it.

The Sound of Med School

... Is the burr of a coffee grinder at 10 pm.

I feel like I'm finally settling in to the rhythm of studying all the time. Not that I wasn't before, but now I don't feel so resentful about it. Just the way it is.. it helps that I'm studying more effectively, and doing well on the exams. Makes me feel like the effort is worth it.

I feel like a "real" med student this week - Pat's been out of town on retreat, so I've been studying all hours of the night, eating quick dinners of yogurt, hot dogs, and leftovers, and generally functioning the way I imagine most of my classmates do on a regular basis. Kind of nice to have so much time for studying, and for myself - but I'll be glad when he's home.

In the meantime, I'll be studying cardio at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.

Why, Yes, We DID Buy Right Before the Crash!

As I've been watching the news lately (or, you know, reading it on the internet at 1:30 am after finishing studying ... not quite as picturesque as sitting at the breakfast table with the paper and a cup of steaming coffee, is it?), I've been realizing more and more how very, very lucky Pat and I are.

We bought a house in June 2008. Lest you think we are completely stupid, let me remind you that in June of '08, we all thought that the sliding home values were a good thing - it was a buyers' market! Kind of like... oh, I don't know... buying a bunch of stock in June of '29, we had no idea how bad things were going to get.

That said (and this is where the first very comes in), we are not worried about losing the house. We can pay all our bills. We even go out to dinner sometimes. Why? Because we, unlike most American homeowners, do not have jobs. I know this seems counterintuitive, but stick with me. We are students - our money comes from the university and good ol' Uncle Sam. As long as we don't fail out of school, we will have income. We are lucky that the recession hit while we were in school, and somewhat insulated from the realities of the job market.

Furthermore - we are used to living very, very frugally. Granted, we have no children, which is a money-saver in itself! But we live on less than $25,000 a year - and do so pretty comfortably. How, you ask?

1. We don't buy convenience foods.
We do buy store bread, now, which we didn't when we first moved - but we are busier with school, and I can't figure out how to keep it from going stale/molding before we can eat it, so we buy bread on sale and put it in the freezer till we need it.

2. Speaking of the freezer. This is the best investment you can make for saving money. Buy everything on sale - meat, vegetables, butter, cream cheese (for baking - the texture goes a little funny after freezing), shredded cheese, bread, juice. It all goes into the freezer. Our grocery budget is low - and we eat meat most nights, and always have balanced meals.

3. We buy everything else on sale, too. Canned goods, pasta sauce, coffee - you name it, we've got it in the pantry. We could probably go for a whole month without buying food, though the meals might be more interesting toward the end.

4. Craigslist. We keep a list of things we're looking for (bread machine, sewing machine, new ceiling fan to replace the one that crapped out, cabinet for the TV, just to name a few) and keep an eye on the list to get things when they're available cheap or free.

5. Sharing a checking account really curtails discretionary spending - every time I buy a coffee, I KNOW he can see that I did... and while he wouldn't care, it does make me think about whether I really need it.

6. Keeping a savings account for household spending, so that if we see a GREAT deal on something we can get it without using credit cards or maxing out the budget for the whole month.

Looking Up

Well, we got a cat. His name is Eoin, which I personally feel is a little pretentious given that we are not Irish, but my husband's ancestry is, and he is studying the history of music in Ireland, so I capitulated. I kind of think that the new-agey back-to-fairies-and-nature types ruined Ireland for the rest of us... but I digress.

Eoin is a three year old black cat, who is very sweet and friendly, independent enough that I don't feel like I'm constantly tripping over him, and disdains his new scratcher. "Why would I use that silly cardboard thing," he asks, "when your living room chair has such lovely, resilient upholstery? And is that CATNIP I see on there? Come now, foolish woman - joke's on you, it has no effect on me. Crack is whack!"

Our poor furniture.

I discovered a great neuroanatomy tutorial page on Washington University's med school page - thank goodness. Because I think that the module author for neuroanatomy here may have gotten into the catnip. The book we were supposed to use is a good text, but the objectives don't really ... go with it well. So I have spent a great deal of time being frustrated and confused, and I don't really deal with either very well. As a result, this is the first post in awhile, as I decided that dwelling on the situation would not do much to improve my mood.

Anyway - the point is, now that I understand what the heck the guy is talking about, I've realized that he wrote a really comprehensive module that simply needs a little more background knowlege to be understood. And neuro is really, really interesting. Go figure. I think that was the worst part - knowing it was going to be such a great topic and then... not understanding a word.

I've also been dealing with some personal stress... I realize that I am a liberated modern woman, etc., and that doing dishes, dinner, laundry, windows, floors, and toilet is not necessarily part of my job description as first year medical student. That said - I'm also newly married, a new home-owner, and would really like our house to feel... like a home. Not an oversized dorm room. So I feel like I'm letting someone down if I don't make dinner, or if I let the dishes pile up or the cookie jar lie empty. I'm not sure exactly whom I'm letting down - most likely, just me. My husband's - well, he theoretically can cook, do laundry, dishes, etc., but I think he forgets that when he does, he's just doing his part, rather than doing me a personal favor by taking over my chores. But he really believes he thinks that these jobs should be shared equally.

Anyway ... a lot of the men in my program are married, and very few of the women - so the wives my age I know are stay at home wives and mothers, who have neat homes, hobbies, enjoy baking, and produce bouncing bundles of joy. And even though I want to be a doctor, and really enjoy what I'm doing, it's hard being constantly bombarded with other people who are doing all the other things I would really like to do. I love to bake - I love babies. But I don't have a wife, and I'm in med school - so unlike the men in med school, who can get married and have those idealistic home lives, I have to use a crock pot and get a cat. Whom I love dearly, but that's not exactly the point.

New Chair

I finally found a comfy chair that fits up the stairs in our 1955 Cape Cod - not a small accomplishment! It's a light green wing chair, and has kind of chenille-y material. My husband says it looks like an old lady chair, but considering that he married a woman who like rose-scented lotion, cats, and crocheting, I'm not entirely sure what he expected. I think it looks like a perfect place to sit in my very own little study, where I can read for hours about physiology and chemistry and not be disturbed.

I'm spending way too much time looking at cats on http://www.petfinder.com even though I know we've agreed that we won't get one till spring. I want a kitty... sigh. Not sure how to do it, because most places want a reference from a vet and I've only ever had pets at my parents' house. Their vet knows me, but don't know if they'd accept a reference from him or not since I wasn't the primary pet-owner.

Guess I'll find out in a few months.

Another Day in the Neighborhood...

Or, more correctly, the Independent Study library. In my gray little cubicle, which I have happily outfitted with all the comforts of home so that I can at least have a few material things to ameliorate the effects of studying all day long.

I have a green blanket, filtered water brought from home (because Columbus water is awful and the medical school seems to filter all of theirs through a limestone deposit - it comes out white from the water fountains. Literally), a Hot Shot (nifty thing - put the water in and it heats and dispenses enough for a really big cup of tea), a beverage warmer, a space heater, and a huge stock of granola bars and easy mac.

Still ... all I want to do is curl up with my green blanket by the space heater and take a nap.

And yes, I did just get here.

Oh, a long day is approaching...

Why I'm Doing This

This is just a reminder to myself, because it has been a pretty hellish week.

I'm doing this because I can't be a doctor without knowing how these things work.
I'm doing this because I never want to look at my patient, who trusted me, and tell him or her that I screwed up because I didn't bother to learn the boring details.
I'm doing this because I want to help people.




I'm doing this because I'm a masochist.

To all future patients -

You're welcome.